Wedding Invitations Mistakes and How to Avoid Them
April 20, 2007
Everyone wants their wedding day to be perfect, down to the last detail. Unfortunately, sometimes the wedding planners are so involved in their own wedding world that they fail to consider the feelings of their guests. This is particularly true when it comes to wedding invitations. We’ve all heard horror stories about the tacky or inappropriate wedding invitations that our friends and acquaintances have received. Here are few pitfalls to avoid when preparing your own invitations so that your guests will feel valued and welcomed, not angry or put-off.
Don’t send your wedding invitations by e-mail unless you are having a very casual affair indeed. The first impression of an e-mailed wedding invitation may be “Gee, they couldn’t even take the time to mail an invitation?†or worse yet, “How cheap!†An e-mailed invitation may inadvertently send the message that your wedding is not a big deal. Consequently, guests may feel that it won’t matter if they skip the event. There’s always the chance that e-mailed invitations could be lost in cyberspace, too. Can you imagine calling up a friend and saying, “What do you mean you didn’t get an invitation? Well, did you check your junk mail?†E-mailed invitations? Just don’t do it!
Don’t let people know where they stand in the pecking order on your invitation list. One horrid gaffe was the invitation that read, “Sorry for the late notice, but we had to wait for RSVPs from the people on our First Priority list before we knew how many invitations we could send to those of you on our Second Priority list. Please RSVP by [date] so that we will have time to invite guests from our Third Priority list.†Yes, this really happened. Now, who would feel good knowing that they hadn’t made the A-list? And who would want to attend such a wedding after receiving such an invitation? While it is natural to have a few back-up guests to invite (or even a whole list of them), revealing this to the guests serves no purpose and can hurt people’s feelings. Opt for the simplicity of “Please RSVP by [date].†Period. If you do have waves of invitations to send, be sure to mail the first invitations far in advance, so that you’ll have plenty of time to send the remaining ones without seeming rushed.
Don’t exclude out-of-town guests from pre-wedding events to save money. It is a time-honored tradition to include these guests in the rehearsal dinner, and this is one tradition that shouldn’t be broken. These guests generally spend a lot of money (and often their vacation time) to come to see you at your request. Excluding them to save a few dollars can alienate them and may cost you their friendship and good will. They may feel as if you only invited them from a sense of obligation or because you expect an expensive gift from them. If you are hosting multiple events, such as a rehearsal dinner followed by a cocktail reception, out-of-town guests should be formally invited to each event and welcomed sincerely. It’s the least you can do to thank them for attending your wedding.
Don’t ask invitees to pay for their own dinner at the wedding reception. And don’t ask for cash or donations in lieu of gifts. While these requests may be gaining a begrudging acceptance simply because they are becoming more common, most people still consider such requests to be in poor taste. Asking for money robs your guest of the pleasure of selecting a personalized gift for you, and it can rob you of treasured memories, too. If you’ve ever seen your grandmother smile nostalgically as she served dessert on a special plate that she received at her own wedding, you’ll know what I mean.
Weddings are important, but it is the people involved who matter the most. If you can’t afford to avoid the mistakes listed here, you may wish to consider scaling back the size of your wedding. A small event, done right, will be more far enjoyable than a large one packed with disgruntled guests. Sometimes, less really is more.
Keywords: Wedding Planning, Weddingblog, Wedding
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