Losing A Member Of The Wedding Party

Four weeks before your wedding, a member of the wedding party pulls out. Dresses or tuxedos have already been paid for. What should you do?

Wedding party members can withdraw for a number of reasons. When this happens, make the best of it. Dealing with a withdrawal on the bride’s side can be difficult, because bridesmaids’ dresses are often ordered four or more months in advance. If you want to maintain the symmetry of the wedding party, you’ll need to find another friend who is willing to stand in at the last moment. Be prepared to absorb the extra costs of alterations to the dress. Although it is expected that the bridesmaids will pay for their dresses, a last-minute substitute should receive extra consideration. Make it very easy for the sub to say “Yes” to your call for help.

When you’re thinking about a sub, keep in mind the size of the person who withdrew and the size of your substitute. Substantial alterations can be difficult to achieve and will be expensive, but a talented seamstress can make it work. It’s always easier to cut down a dress to fit a smaller person than it is to make a smaller dress go farther. If your bridesmaids will be wearing shoes dyed to match their dresses, and in the time remaining you cannot make that happen for your sub, take a deep breath and be flexible. Under long dresses, no one will notice the shoes! If your bridesmaids dresses are tea-length or shorter, take your sub shopping and find a pair you can both live with, even if they don’t match the other bridesmaids’ dresses.

If, on the other hand, a groomsman pulls out, the local tuxedo rental shop should be able to accommodate this loss more easily. Let the rental place know as far in advance as possible that your tuxedo rental needs have changed. If the change will be a problem for them, they may be able to draft other options for helping you out.

Among the possibilities for substitutes, family members are your best bets. Siblings, half-siblings, step-siblings or cousins may be more willing to jump into the breach to bail you out than a not-so-close friend. If you’re still having trouble coming up with a sub, brainstorm with the other members of your wedding party. They may be able to generate a list of sympathetic friends who can help out. Likewise, if a member of your wedding party will be bringing a guest who wasn’t planning to stand up in your wedding, the guest may be willing to “be promoted” for the evening.

Losing a member of the wedding party at the last minute doesn’t have to be a disaster as long as you’re willing to be flexible when finding a substitute.

Keywords: Wedding Planning, Weddingblog, Wedding

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