What To Do When Your Guests Can’t Get Along

Weddings are meant to be a time for a bride and groom to share their happiest moments with friends and family. But what happens when two people on your guest list don’t get along?

This is a common occurrence for an engaged couple whose parents have divorced. For the wedding guests, the prospect of meeting a former spouse’s new love interest, or standing for pictures as “one big happy family” may be awkward or painful. These feelings can be intensified, especially if the falling-out is recent history, or the breakup was particularly unpleasant.

There are no rules about inviting guests, except that all invited guests should be treated equally. You will be the center of attention on your special day, and your wedding is about the commitment you and your intended are making to each other. While you should not go out of your way to aggravate a nasty situation, do not try to please everyone on your guest list, either. It can’t be done.

Make your guest list with your soon-to-be husband or wife. It’s acceptable and expected to ask family members for help with the list, to make sure no one is forgotten, but who’s on and who’s off are decision that are strictly up to you! If you know you will be inviting parents or close family members who don’t see eye-to-eye, discuss the invitation with them beforehand. Let each person know that you would like to them to share you special day, and ask that they put aside their feelings for the event. Let them know you will understand if they choose not to. Be firm, and do not change your guest list.

You need not choose between your parents or other cherished guests, regardless of the circumstances of history. If you would like both parties to attend, then by all means, invite both parties. It will be up to the invited guest to make his or her decision about whether to attend your event.

Once the guest has made his or her decision about attending, leave it at that. Your wedding is your special day. Do not allow yourself to be upset (or up-staged!) by a relative who will not or cannot put aside old wounds for a few hours. If a close family member or friend chooses not to share your special day, it is no reflection on you and your soon-to-be spouse. It will only change the joy of your occasion if you allow it to.

Keywords: Wedding Planning, Weddingblog, Wedding
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