When the Bride Decides on a Child-Free Wedding

In today’s world, brides have a great deal of leeway when it comes to assembling their invitation list. While parents may pay for the wedding, the bride should have the deciding vote when it comes to who’s on the guest list and who’s not.

While this can cause discord in some families, it only makes sense that the bride should be in charge. After all, it is her big day…her day to shine. She should be the one to choose with whom she’ll spend the day.

In the interests of maintaining a calm, stress-free atmosphere at their weddings, some brides opt for a child-free wedding. Such a policy does not mean that the bride is against children—far from it. It simply means that she wants to maintain a certain atmosphere at her wedding and reception, and having unruly children or crying babies around could spoil the event.

However, such a decision can create etiquette problems. Some guests may be offended by a no-child policy, considering it anti-family. Say, for instance, the bride’s future mother-in-law wants to see her young nieces at the wedding. But the bride has made it clear that she doesn’t want anyone under the age of 16 to attend the festivities. Should the bride make an exception for her future mother-in-law’s relatives? Or should she abandon the no-child rule altogether? Or should the mother-in-law invite the children on her own—over her daughter-in-law’s objections? Or is it possible for the mother-in-law to broach the subject with her daughter-in-law—without creating hard feelings? What do bridal etiquette experts have to say on the subject?

There can be no doubt that this is a touchy subject—one that can come up in a number of weddings. Proper etiquette, though, states that the mother-in-law should simply follow the bride’s wishes. The wedding is, after all, the bride’s show—not the mother-in-law’s. While there is the danger that a no-child policy can cause hurt feelings, it is perfectly acceptable from an etiquette standpoint.

Interestingly enough, proper etiquette states that a bride need not share her wedding invitation list with her future in-laws. As a result, a clash between the bride and her future mother-in-law over the guest list might be avoided altogether.

However, if a bride’s parents are paying for the event, they do have a right to see the invitation list. That means that conflicts could arise between the bride and her mother and father over who should be invited to the wedding and reception and who shouldn’t be.

Often, a heart-to-heart talk between the bride and her parents will put to rest any controversies over the guest list. In the event that conflicting opinions arise, the bride and her mother and father should be able to discuss the issue in a pleasant, respectful way. Such discussions can help to reduce any hard feelings and can help to contribute to harmonious wedding planning sessions. After all, getting married is a team effort, and a successful wedding requires cooperation among all members of the wedding party and “planning committee.”

Keywords: Wedding Planning, Child Free Wedding

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